So today we had the algebra and LA exams, and it was REALLY WEIRD, cuz like I was expecting the algebra exam to SUCK and the LA exam to be a total breeze, but nooooo. The algebra exam was easy, which was faboo. But the LA exam...


So all year we've been doing short stories and poems, right? And literary elements, and stuff. So Mr Sheep, my LA teacher, told us we were going to have to write 2 essays on the exam, and that's it. Which is, y'know, excellent, because I'm great at essay-writing, if I do say so myself. And I do. So last week, Mr Sheep was like "I'm gonna give you this essay thing to write to see if you need to study for the exam next week!"

So he gave us that. And we wrote our little essays. And it was pretty cool. I got a 100.

And then today, I went to the exam room and sat down and got out my paper and pencils and stuff, and Ms Harpen E passed out the exams, and I looked at the short story and poem, and the questions we were supposed to essay-ify, and...

I had nothing.

The short story was "The House on Mango Street," by, uh, I'm not sure. It's basically about a family who keeps having to move to crappy house after crappy house, and their family keeps getting bigger, and it kinda sucks all around for them. It's a good story, though. But the question I was supposed to answer in an essay was, "How does the point of view of the narrator relate to the theme of the story?"

The theme of the story, IMO, was that "If you can't be proud of it, it's not your HOME." But that has nothing to do with the narrator. The narrator was a genderless child of undetermined age.

You can see my problem.

So I tried to BS my way through an essay for a while, but I got about a paragraph in before I used up every single idea I had.

I took a look at the poem.

It was "The Bean-Eaters," by I forget. It was a three-stanza poem about a couple of old people sitting around eating beans and remembering things.

I was supposed to answer "How is the setting of the poem related to the theme of the poem?"

Well, the setting was a house. I think. Possibly. But that didn't have any effect on the theme of the poem- it might well have been an apartment. It didn't matter.

So I'm sitting there, and I have nothing to write, and 45 of the 90 minutes we're given are up. I have 45 minutes to write 2 essays without failing or breaking my soul. Neither of the essays are essays that I can write. This is my LA exam.


I decided to do the unthinkable.

I wrote an essay as to why I could not write the other two essays.

It was about 5,000 times better than any essay I could have written on the given materials.

In the conclusion, I reminded Mr Sheep that I am an A+ student, and I never have problems with writing essays. I also said that I accept any grade he gives me, just so long as he understands why I wrote what I did, and I understand why he gave me the grade.

So yeah!

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