Uh, Wait, WHAT?

Be careful where you get your hay from now on! There may have been a butt-nakey man in it at some point.


Poor Sad Alien

So my poor sad internet-friend Alien has broken her clavicle.
She broke it falling out of a hammock. Head first. Hee hee hee.
ANYWHO, I promised to make her a badly-drawn depiction of sad Alien. So here it is! :D


Stephen Colbert Makes Fun of Bush to His Face

OhmyFSM, Stephen Colbert is a GENIUS.
This video must be pretty old, though-- Stephen Colbert is really young there...

The Little-Known Origin of Trollface

Trollface is the famous depiction of internet trolls, made famous by 4chan's /b/ forum.

Whynne, creator of Trollface, comments on the comic that he put up on deviantArt:
Incase you were wondering:
-Yes, this is where trollface started
-No, I'm not proud of it
-It's trollface, not coolface. Eat a dick.

*The face itself is really just my own poor attempt at drawing the face of rape rodent, pictured here.
Why raperodent isn't as popular is beyond me, but its still one of my favorite images.

In case you're wondering and feeling too lazy to click on things, this is Raperodent:

So yes! That is the little-known origin of Trollface!



Well, is it all ducks, or just male mallards? I shall have to go search for it.


Edit: Yeah, pretty much all ducks have dog masks!


Zomfsm, Baby Goat!

Have I ever mentioned...




Bert Sees What You Did There

February eighteenth, 1964. A stick of dynamite. An egg. That one mysterious call...


New Look!

Yay! Radiojestica has a new look now! Hopefully this one will be easier on your eyes and possibly more attractive.
I liked the old header, but it clashed with the new colors, so I had to make the new one. I like this one, too, though, so it's fine.
So yeah! Mah blog, how does she look?



Abyssinian Kitteh Alert!

Abyssinian kitteh alert! I repeat: ABYSSINIAN KITTEH ALERT!

From the connoisseur of cuteness, Cute Overload.

"Ground Zero Mosque" My Ass/Controversy Time! Vol. 4

Charlie Brooker on the "Ground Zero mosque":

To get to the Cordoba Centre from Ground Zero, you’d have to walk in the opposite direction for two blocks, before turning a corner and walking a bit more. The journey should take roughly two minutes, or possibly slightly longer if you’re heading an angry mob who can’t hear your directions over the sound of their own enraged bellowing.

Perhaps spatial reality functions differently on the other side of the Atlantic, but here in London, something that is “two minutes’ walk and round a corner” from something else isn’t actually “in” the same place at all. I once had a poo in a pub about two minutes’ walk from Buckingham Palace. I was not subsequently arrested and charged with crapping directly onto the Queen’s pillow. That’s how “distance” works in Britain. It’s also how distance works in America, of course, but some people are currently pretending it doesn’t, for daft political ends.

New York being a densely populated city, there are lots of other buildings and businesses within two blocks of Ground Zero, including a McDonald’s and a Burger King, neither of which has yet been accused of serving milkshakes and fries on hallowed ground. Regardless, for the opponents of Cordoba House, two blocks is too close, period. Frustratingly, they haven’t produced a map pinpointing precisely how close is OK.

That’s literally all I’d ask them in an interview. I’d stand there pointing at a map of the city. Would it be offensive here? What about here? Or how about way over there? And when they finally picked a suitable spot, I’d ask them to draw it on the map, sketching out roughly how big it should be, and how many windows it’s allowed to have. Then I’d hand them a colour swatch and ask them to decide on a colour for the lobby carpet. And the conversation would continue in this vein until everyone in the room was in tears. Myself included.

That hasn’t happened. Instead, 70% of Americans are opposed to the “Ground Zero mosque”, doubtless in many cases because they’ve been led to believe it literally is a mosque at Ground Zero. And if not . . . well, it must be something significant. Otherwise why would all these pundits be so angry about it? And why would anyone in the media listen to them with a straight face?






Just Hangin' Out Here

Oh, don't mind me, I'm just hangin' out here, nomming mah tail...


Grey vs Gray

I spell some words differently than most 13-year-old Americans.

For example, I spell it "grey," not "gray." Technically both are correct (even if your spellcheck disagrees), but "grey" just looks better to me than "gray," and it's usually more appropriate to me. I have mild synesthesia, which means that I assign colors to words, and "grey" is a different shade of grey than "gray." If that makes any sense. To me, grey with an E is a cooler grey, and gray with an A is warmer. And chances are, if I'm talking about a grey thing, it's probably a cooler grey than a warmer gray.

You still with me? No? Eh, you'll catch up, if you read that a couple more times.

Also, I spell "theatre" with an RE instead of an ER. Theatre looks crisp and old and black-and-white, like the kind of theatre that actors play in, and theater looks soft and newer and colored, like a movie theatre.

with apologies to James Cameron...

I don't spell words like "color" or "favorite" with a U, though. It's just not something I do.

So yeah! That is why I spell grey with an E and theatre with an RE.

We Need These

We need these!



Cute Animals That Could Kill You


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Some species of shrews have the ability to generate surprisingly strong poison, which gets into a person after the shrew bites you with its teeth or through your skin. It can be extremely painful, and (although very rarely) it can result in death. When they bite, it's because you're holding them or stepping on them or something. What, you think a shrew is gonna eat you? Cliquez-ici for more information about shrew poison.


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Leopard seals are incredibly strong, can hold their breaths for extremely long periods of time, and have teeth comparable to a tiger's. When they attack, they mean business. And business usually involves eating you, because chances are? They're hunting and you're penguin-shaped.


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Though they're very cute and handsome, badgers are also freakishly strong. Their teeth are large and pointed, and their claws (which evolved into long, curved, flat pointy things for digging) can gut a man in one swipe. Badgers only feel the need to attack if they think you're on their territory, though-- it's not like they're hunting. They're defending.


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Adult poisonous snakes are dangerous enough, but baby snakes are even worse. This is because of several reasons. First, they're small and you probably wouldn't see one until it's already too late. Second, they're babies-- no one expects a baby snake to have any venom, right? Well they do. They have almost as much venom at any one time as their adult counterparts, which leads us to Three. Three, they don't have as much control over their venom as adults, so they'll probably just hang on and keep pumping poison into your body without just going "screw this, I've warned them enough" and dropping off.


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Wolverines are small. They are cute. They are fuzzy. They are able to rip off your head and feed it to their cubs, too. Big teeth + enormous strength + naturally aggressive = you're screwed.


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Awww, anteater! Cute! And it only eats bugs. Sounds pretty safe, right? Wrong. Anteaters are big, they've got massive sharp claws, and they will straight-out maul you if you make fun of their cubs' long noses.


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Blue-ringed octopi are generally accepted as one of the world's most venomous creatures. Also, box jellyfish. But I figured I could probably lump 'em in together in one post, since knowing what a box jellyfish looks like will not help you. They are tiny. You will not see it.


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Giraffes: the gentle giants of the African tundra (well, other than elephants). But if a lioness is stupid enough to try to attack a giraffe, she will get her ass kicked. And I mean that literally. Giraffes have a kick strong enough to smash a lioness's skull in, and they are not afraid to use it.


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Ostriches look funny, they walk funny, and they cannot fly. But like the giraffe, the ostrich has one HELL of a powerful kick. They will also peck at your eyes, but that's only if you get close enough.


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Moose (mooses? meese?) will charge at you if they're threatened. And they will charge fast and hit you hard. You do not want to be stuck between a mama moose and her baby moose. Pretty much any plan is smarter.


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Few things are cuter than a puffed-up puffer fish. But the poison of the puffer fish, which it delivers through its bite, will paralyze your diaphragm (don't know what that is? It's the muscle under your lungs that makes you breathe) until you die, and then some. Also, eating a puffer fish that hasn't been properly filleted may or may not kill you (there was a Simpsons episode about that once...).


The above cuteness brought to you by...
Hippos are assholes. They regularly overturn boats in the Nile river and kill passengers, just because the boat made a shadow above them. And there's kinda no cheap way to scan for them, and even if you could scan the river for them, they get pretty freakin' huge.
Also, apparently there's an abnormally enormous hippo who just camps out in one section of the Nile and flips over any boats that comes near him. Attempts to hippo-nap him have all failed.

And last but not least...


The above cuteness brought to you by...

What, you thought you'd get through this post without getting trolled?

It is true, though.


Justin Bieber Whale Music

Someone took a Justin Bieber song and made it 800 times slower. It's like a mix between Enya, humpback whale music, a Relax Your Heart and Mind sleep hypnosis CD, and possibly a little bit of ol' J Biebs.


(I can't figure out how to embed it, sorry)


Why I'm Voting Tea Party

Original post | Tee shirts

Irrational Fear

I have a slight fear of tornadoes.

And by "slight fear," I mean "irrational phobia that leaves me shaking on the floor in the fetal position at the slightest hint of a thunderstorm."

And lemme tell ya? Not. Fun.

When it's cloudy at school, I spend the entire day frowning at the sky and feeling uneasy. But if it rains, I'm completely fine, as long as there's no thunder or lightning.

I'm not even sure why I'm so terrified of tornadoes. I've never even seen one in person. I mean, sure, I've seen pictures, and I've even (against my better judgement) sat through one of those horrible StormChasers episodes. But there is no reason for me to be terrified of them. I mean, I live in northeastern North Carolina! I don't even live in Tornado Alley! We rarely get tornadoes, and when we do, they're ten miles away and dinky little circular-wind-things (as opposed to on top of our house and half a mile wide).

So, this post is probably not going to be illustrated that much, because my stupid phobia prevents me from drawing them without pissing my pants. So sorry. Here, have a badly-drawn picture of a tapir instead. Tapirs make everything better (except Hannelore).

*sidles away whistling and pretending to know what a tapir's nose looks like*


So that is my fear of tornadoes, and also why you will never, ever see a picture or video or anything of a tornado on this blog. Ever. You might see a video of someone driving through a wildfire, or a video of thousands of spiders in a tree, but you will never, ever find a video of a tornado that's two miles away from the taper.


Oh! So you may or may not have noticed that in the first drawing, my hair is suddenly a lot shorter and a little darker than it has been in illustrations past. That is because I got a haircut. Now it's boy-cut-short, except for two little blonde bangs in the front that go down past my chin. That means that my hair looks darker because most of it hasn't been sunbleached at all.

So yeah!


Wait, What?

I am Black. Papa is Blue (and evidently the only person on earth who is aware of the existence of the Mountain Goats). Mama is Orange. Grandpa is Red.
I mean, whatever, Grandpa didn't read the comments above and commented on the original weather-related post. But Mama-- what WAS that??? "Two souls soar as one"??? WHAT WAS THAT???

Anyway, so that's my funny relatives story of the day. :D

PS, the song that we were quoting is Lovecraft in Brooklyn by the Mountain Goats. Yummy song. :D

Hand in Unlovable Hand

I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a failsafe plot
to piss off the dumb few that forgave us
I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it's already too late...

Also, the Mountain Goats will cure your Bieber Fever.


Sky Sailing

Sky Sailing is the name that Adam Young chose for his pre-Owl City music. His voice is younger and the songs are quieter and more pretty (as opposed to happy, bouncy Owl City). Here's Brielle.

Watch the video, it's very pretty and creative.

Sky Sailing official website.

Five Minute Chocolate Cake

More on Instructables.com.

"Will" and "Shall"


"Will" and "shall" are not interchangeable. Unfortunately, that's what a lot of people seem to think-- saying "will" is acceptable for every pronoun, while "shall" is also acceptable but you should only use "shall" when you're trying to impress an English teacher, otherwise you sound pretentious and/or British. This is not so.

You know how French and Spanish have the specific patterns for verbs? Well, English does too-- sort of. For most verbs. Many, anyway.
Here is "to be" in the future tense.

I shall.
You will.
He or She will.
They will.
We shall.

In other words, anything that I am doing, you use "shall," not "will," even if someone else is also doing it.

So, for example, the picture above is grammatically incorrect-- it should say "We shall not be able to tell where he was found."

Actually, My First Dictionary has a lot of will/shall mistakes. Fortunately, it's awesome enough to make up for it. o3o

So in conclusion:




No via, since this is my picture.



I've only heard of Raptor Jesus because one of Nora's old classmates did a report on it, and Nora told Papa and me. Raptor Jesus is hardly a meme, or even well-known.

The FSM, though-- the FSM is well-known! While He isn't a meme (technically), He's older and more creative than the Raptor Jesus thing. Also, Pastafarianism is actively practiced by protesters everywhere! Like, in almost every single Gay Pride parade nowadays, there is at LEAST one person with a homemade FSM on his head, or in full Pirate regalia. There is not, however, a guy with a dinosaur mask and Jesus clothes.

Also there doesn't seem to be any Pirates vs Ninja references anywhere. Hmmm. That really is a meme...

All in all review: maybe 3 stars out of five. The image itself is charming and funny, but I just can't get past the lack of FSM or Pirates-vs-Ninja...


I See a Dancing Pony-Bear

I didn't "shit bricks," but I hadn't noticed the dancing pony-bear before.
It's a pony-bear, by the way, because it appears to have a long flowy tail. Therefore it is a pony-bear. Also it's dancing.




Youtube description:
We had this wild gray squirrel in our back yard that I could never get on film that kept passing out. I finally left the video camera on the kitchen counter on a regular basis trying to catch it on film. Over a few months of filming I was able to get two minutes on film. The amazing thing here is that it lived in 80 foot tall trees and we saw it for a period of six months.

Actually, I don't think this is narcolepsy. It just looks like the squirrel probably has a screwed-up inner ear, which makes it have terrible balance. Narcolepsy would make the squirrel fall over because it fell asleep, but this squirrel continues to eat seeds when it falls over. So I think its sense of balance is screwed up. Like, you know when you spin around for two minutes or however long it takes you to fall over, and then you're like "Oh! Hello floor. I thought you were over there," and everything seems like it should be shifted about 130° to the right? Yeah, I think that's what the squirrel probably feels like all the time. Sitting up for a second or two would be achievable, but then everything shifts again and you fall over.

Anyway, via.

Not the Potato I Seek

Made by me, therefore no via.

Mel Gibson Quotes

... as presented by the Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh.

Most of them are very much not grandparent- or work-safe...




Oh Mai Storm

Those people must have majorly pissed off Cthulhu.



Question for you Russian-speakers-- does that even MEAN anything, or is it the Russian version of scat singing?


Pray For Your Enemies



Twilight vs Science

Me: roflmao



Gasoline is Bad

My house smells like gasoline and unhappiness right now. Mostly gasoline.

Basically, here I am, sitting in my leather chair in the living room, minding my own business, when I go "sniff! sniff sniff! sniff sniff sniff!"

I smelled gas.

So I went into the next room, the kitchen, and looked at the stove. All burners were off. I twisted them a little more over to "off," just in case. There was no effect.

I ran to get Mama.

I told her about the gas, so she came with me into the kitchen. She, too, checked the burners. We have an electric oven, and an electric drier. So those two were out.

We went into the dining room, which is between the entrance to the garage and the kitchen. The smell was stronger there, which was weird, because there really isn't anything in there that could possibly create that kind of smell. So Mama opened the garage door, and--


Lots of gas smell. In the tiny little garage.

She opened the outside garage door and turned on the light. We checked under the car-- no leak. In the water-softening area (we get our water from a well, since we're technically not in city limits)-- no leak. We looked all around the garage-- no leaks.

So we got the dogs and sat in the driveway while Mama called the fire department.

The firefighters came in like five minutes, since we live so close to them. They were all decked out in full fire-fighting regalia, but the trucks were too long to fit up our steep, steep driveway. So the trucks sat in the street. Copper and Barclay (my dogs) kept barking at them-- which did not help. I was in tears for most of this part.

They checked out the house, mostly the garage, and had to call in their buddies, who had UV lights or something. The UV lights (or whatever they were) would show where the gasoline was.

It was underneath our emergency generator.

We have an emergency generator because the power goes out fairly often, maybe once every month or two. That wouldn't be much of a problem, except that since we're on a well, and not the city water system, we have to use electricity to get water. So when the power goes out, the entire house goes out. So no showers, no cooking, no toilets. For a house that will often have 6 people living in it, that is a major problem. So we have an emergency generator that powers the water, my stepdad's and Mama's computers (since both of them work from home, via the internet), and the fridge and freezer.


So apparently there was a puddle of gasoline underneath the generator. And it was no ordinary, dinky, 1-foot-wide puddle. Nooo, it was a six-foot-wide puddle of stink and explosives.

The fire fighters poured a kitty-litter-like sand on it, to soak up all the gasoline and make it relatively harmless. Then they scooped it all into a tin trashcan, which we're supposed to let dry out and then throw away (I assume). Then they gave us the thumbs-up, and left.

So now I'm emotionally drained, Copper and Barclay are wide awake, and Mama's had a really crappy day.


Controversy Time! Vol. 3

Today's controversial topic: ABORTION!
...yay. =_=;;
Eh, today I'm going to be lazy and illustrate my argument with a Facebook conversation that's going on as I type. I'm Black.
Also, sorry this post is so long. This thread got up to like 38 comments long.

Yellow just made the last comment: "chilll out i didnt see her post... and one last thing.... abortion=murder".