Holy ajsdf;laksdfj;askljasdf.
DEAR GOD.
click me if you're ready to piss your pants in fear.
NOT FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED. OR THE CLAUSTROPHOBIC.
Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
I should have stopped reading it like 4 pages in, but I couldn't help it! I was drawn to--
oh my god
Showing posts with label scary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scary. Show all posts
7.17.2011
7.08.2011
"So I Moderated an Axe-Murderer"
Because there is no such thing as too much John Green, apparently. If I find any more videos like this I'll just edit this post instead of making a new one. :I
7.06.2011
I Can Haz Crappy Advertisements Plz?
Yes, you can haz.
Only a few, though, because these are all ads that I've run across- no internet-searchage here, for the time being!
Hun, I don't think Paula Deen really represents real women very well. She's kinda got more of a "hellbeast with a butter obsession" vibe.
Who could refuse that offer???
"Hey moms! Want a scholarship? It's easy! All you have to do is fill out this survey, sign your name here, and eat your baby!"
Only a few, though, because these are all ads that I've run across- no internet-searchage here, for the time being!
Hun, I don't think Paula Deen really represents real women very well. She's kinda got more of a "hellbeast with a butter obsession" vibe.
Who could refuse that offer???
"Hey moms! Want a scholarship? It's easy! All you have to do is fill out this survey, sign your name here, and eat your baby!"
Because nothing says savings like a badly Photoshopped, quite possibly anorexic girl wearing a granny-style bikini.
Welp, I'll leave you with that bit of repulsive humanity for a while. End post!
6.17.2011
6.02.2011
10.10.2010
ZOMSHEEPIE!
ZOMG
SHEEPIE
Normally I would protest the fact that the camera dude is kicking the poor sheepie's head (still probably not the safest way to fend off a sheepie attack), but considering those sheepies run into each others' heads daily, I'm not sure the sheepie really cares. Also, that sheepie is terrifying.
baaaahhh!
SHEEPIE
Normally I would protest the fact that the camera dude is kicking the poor sheepie's head (still probably not the safest way to fend off a sheepie attack), but considering those sheepies run into each others' heads daily, I'm not sure the sheepie really cares. Also, that sheepie is terrifying.
baaaahhh!
9.13.2010
Gearing Up For Halloween 2010: story 1
Down here in Nawth Cackalacky, where Duke beats UNC and barbecue is not a verb, we have a little demon we like to call...
the Cackalacky She-Devil!
Naw then, the Cackalacky She-Devil is quite the beastie with a backstory, and hoo dogies it's a tragic one. Here goes...
There was once a beautiful woman with flowing red hair who lived in a small town in North Carolina in the 1920s. She was in love with an amazing man who loved her with all his heart. They never fought, they kissed every day, and he was planning to ask her to marry her.
But one Valentine's day, he never came home. She found out the next day that he had been driving past a graveyard at around 11.30 at night when a band of thieves had stopped the car, then murdered him when they realized he didn't have anything of great value.
Or at least, that's what they thought-- he had a 24 carat diamond ring in his breast pocket.
She was heartbroken at his death. She sank into a deep depression, cutting herself with his razor, burning herself with pokers from the fire. She spiraled down into her own personal hell, until one day when she finally snapped. She dressed in her best outfit, with perfect makeup and intricate hair, then she walked slowly around the house they could have shared forever, lighting candles in all the windows. Then she went around again, methodically setting the beautiful antique curtains alight.
She laid down in the middle of the floor and waited.
Most people, when they die, they either go the Heaven or they go to Hell.
Not her. Restless souls who still thirst for revenge become devils, doomed to live forever on Earth, never getting their revenge.
She became the Cackalacky She-Devil, hiding in trees over graveyards, waiting for cars to come by, thinking that maybe this time, it'll be the thieves coming back to collect their rewards. When a car passes underneath her tree, she leaps onto the roof and punches in the first two windows, yanking the driver and any passengers out of the moving car. She slits their throats with her razor-sharp fingernails and leaves them to die on the cold, wet grass.
The Cackalacky She-Devil has fire for hair, burning coals for eyes, fangs for teeth and flaming bat wings. When she breathes, tendrils of fire come out through her nostrils, and when she walks, the grass turns to ash beneath her feet.
And now for our feature presentation: a mashup of a bajillion photos (listed underneath) into a failure-turned-effing-awesome photoshoppery* of the Cackalacky She-Devil!
Yeah, you know you love it.
Anyway. Here are the websites used for each picture:
Graveyard in background
Girl in tree
Bat wings on girl
Fire on ground
Firy holes in her wings
The rest is my amateur's prowess!
*- Technically it's not Photoshop, it's GIMP that I used. I'm too much of a cheapskate to buy PS :B
the Cackalacky She-Devil!
Naw then, the Cackalacky She-Devil is quite the beastie with a backstory, and hoo dogies it's a tragic one. Here goes...
There was once a beautiful woman with flowing red hair who lived in a small town in North Carolina in the 1920s. She was in love with an amazing man who loved her with all his heart. They never fought, they kissed every day, and he was planning to ask her to marry her.
But one Valentine's day, he never came home. She found out the next day that he had been driving past a graveyard at around 11.30 at night when a band of thieves had stopped the car, then murdered him when they realized he didn't have anything of great value.
Or at least, that's what they thought-- he had a 24 carat diamond ring in his breast pocket.
She was heartbroken at his death. She sank into a deep depression, cutting herself with his razor, burning herself with pokers from the fire. She spiraled down into her own personal hell, until one day when she finally snapped. She dressed in her best outfit, with perfect makeup and intricate hair, then she walked slowly around the house they could have shared forever, lighting candles in all the windows. Then she went around again, methodically setting the beautiful antique curtains alight.
She laid down in the middle of the floor and waited.
Most people, when they die, they either go the Heaven or they go to Hell.
Not her. Restless souls who still thirst for revenge become devils, doomed to live forever on Earth, never getting their revenge.
She became the Cackalacky She-Devil, hiding in trees over graveyards, waiting for cars to come by, thinking that maybe this time, it'll be the thieves coming back to collect their rewards. When a car passes underneath her tree, she leaps onto the roof and punches in the first two windows, yanking the driver and any passengers out of the moving car. She slits their throats with her razor-sharp fingernails and leaves them to die on the cold, wet grass.
The Cackalacky She-Devil has fire for hair, burning coals for eyes, fangs for teeth and flaming bat wings. When she breathes, tendrils of fire come out through her nostrils, and when she walks, the grass turns to ash beneath her feet.
And now for our feature presentation: a mashup of a bajillion photos (listed underneath) into a failure-turned-effing-awesome photoshoppery* of the Cackalacky She-Devil!
Anyway. Here are the websites used for each picture:
Graveyard in background
Girl in tree
Bat wings on girl
Fire on ground
Firy holes in her wings
The rest is my amateur's prowess!
*- Technically it's not Photoshop, it's GIMP that I used. I'm too much of a cheapskate to buy PS :B
8.19.2010
Irrational Fear
I have a slight fear of tornadoes.
And by "slight fear," I mean "irrational phobia that leaves me shaking on the floor in the fetal position at the slightest hint of a thunderstorm."
And lemme tell ya? Not. Fun.
When it's cloudy at school, I spend the entire day frowning at the sky and feeling uneasy. But if it rains, I'm completely fine, as long as there's no thunder or lightning.
I'm not even sure why I'm so terrified of tornadoes. I've never even seen one in person. I mean, sure, I've seen pictures, and I've even (against my better judgement) sat through one of those horrible StormChasers episodes. But there is no reason for me to be terrified of them. I mean, I live in northeastern North Carolina! I don't even live in Tornado Alley! We rarely get tornadoes, and when we do, they're ten miles away and dinky little circular-wind-things (as opposed to on top of our house and half a mile wide).
So, this post is probably not going to be illustrated that much, because my stupid phobia prevents me from drawing them without pissing my pants. So sorry. Here, have a badly-drawn picture of a tapir instead. Tapirs make everything better (except Hannelore).
Anyway.
So that is my fear of tornadoes, and also why you will never, ever see a picture or video or anything of a tornado on this blog. Ever. You might see a video of someone driving through a wildfire, or a video of thousands of spiders in a tree, but you will never, ever find a video of a tornado that's two miles away from the taper.
:D
Oh! So you may or may not have noticed that in the first drawing, my hair is suddenly a lot shorter and a little darker than it has been in illustrations past. That is because I got a haircut. Now it's boy-cut-short, except for two little blonde bangs in the front that go down past my chin. That means that my hair looks darker because most of it hasn't been sunbleached at all.
So yeah!
And by "slight fear," I mean "irrational phobia that leaves me shaking on the floor in the fetal position at the slightest hint of a thunderstorm."
And lemme tell ya? Not. Fun.
When it's cloudy at school, I spend the entire day frowning at the sky and feeling uneasy. But if it rains, I'm completely fine, as long as there's no thunder or lightning.
I'm not even sure why I'm so terrified of tornadoes. I've never even seen one in person. I mean, sure, I've seen pictures, and I've even (against my better judgement) sat through one of those horrible StormChasers episodes. But there is no reason for me to be terrified of them. I mean, I live in northeastern North Carolina! I don't even live in Tornado Alley! We rarely get tornadoes, and when we do, they're ten miles away and dinky little circular-wind-things (as opposed to on top of our house and half a mile wide).
So, this post is probably not going to be illustrated that much, because my stupid phobia prevents me from drawing them without pissing my pants. So sorry. Here, have a badly-drawn picture of a tapir instead. Tapirs make everything better (except Hannelore).
*sidles away whistling and pretending to know what a tapir's nose looks like*
Anyway.
So that is my fear of tornadoes, and also why you will never, ever see a picture or video or anything of a tornado on this blog. Ever. You might see a video of someone driving through a wildfire, or a video of thousands of spiders in a tree, but you will never, ever find a video of a tornado that's two miles away from the taper.
:D
Oh! So you may or may not have noticed that in the first drawing, my hair is suddenly a lot shorter and a little darker than it has been in illustrations past. That is because I got a haircut. Now it's boy-cut-short, except for two little blonde bangs in the front that go down past my chin. That means that my hair looks darker because most of it hasn't been sunbleached at all.
So yeah!
8.11.2010
8.04.2010
Clowns
I was surfing Yahoo Answers the other day, and I came across a person who was asking, "Why are so many people afraid of clowns?"
Most people answered that it has something to do with the face paint-- their emotions aren't obvious, you can't tell what they're thinking, blah blah blah...
My answer, of course, was that "they're effing terrifying, that's why!"
I did not get best answer.
Also?
Yeah. Clowns will fuck you up.
8.02.2010
Driving Through a Wildfire
Holy FSM. I didn't watch this with sound, which is probably a good thing. There are English subtitles when the people start yelling. Most of it is "fuck."
I would probably be cowering in a ball underneath the back seats, crying quietly to myself.
Holy eff.
Via.
7.27.2010
Daddy Longlegs in a Tree
Okay, you have been warned: in the following video, there are a LOT of EFFING NOT-SPIDERS.
I don't CARE that their creepy little fangs aren't strong enough to bite humans, those things are freaking terrifying!
Via.
I don't CARE that their creepy little fangs aren't strong enough to bite humans, those things are freaking terrifying!
Via.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)